MIND YOUR LANGUAGE #1

by Akumbu Uche

 

Episode 1: Customer Care

 

ACT ONE

(At K’s Shawarma, Uyo)

 

Me: Please, I’d like to buy a shawarma.

Sales Rep: How many?

 

ACT TWO

(At Crunchies, Uyo)

 

Me: Am I going to get cutlery with that?

Sales Rep: We don’t have cutlery but we can give you spoon.

 

ACT THREE

(At Woolworths-ShopRite, Enugu)

 

Me: Do you have sports bras?

Sales Rep: What we have is swimming bra.

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EATING LOCAL

Food is life.

Food is fuel.

Food is pleasure.

Food is an experience.

Food is inspiration!

Check out my food-themed essay in this week’s edition of Ayaka Magazine. Preferably on a full stomach.